I can’t count how many people asked me that question right after I got married. Even now, old acquaintances ask me the very same question after finding out I’m already married. And sometimes, you just get tired of answering the same question all over again.
To be fair, there’s nothing wrong with the question. It’s the same level of question everybody asked me when my sisters and close friends got married, “When are you getting married?” Like, I have to find a boyfriend first.
After I got married, people in all directions asked me when I was going to have a baby. At first, I didn’t mind the question and told everyone the same answer I’ve been telling. Not until my husband and I are 25. But of course, some people don’t get contented when you give them an answer.
I totally feel connected to Saab Magallona’s thoughts. “Not everybody gets married just to have children.” But unlike her, my husband and I still don’t have any plans on having a baby even though we’re almost 25. 😀
Here are a few common notion people have on why a couple SHOULD have a baby and here’s my thoughts on those.
1. You won’t be happy if you don’t have a baby
Correct me if I’m wrong but I think people who say this are unhappy with their partner. They make it sound like their marriage is lonely without their kids. Fortunately, I am very happy with my husband and enjoy all the attention he gives me.
2. Your husband is half-foreigner. Your kids will be beautiful and handsome. Sayang.
That’s a good thought but my kids’ good looks will not buy them diapers, milk, food and give them the right attention they need.
3. If you’re not going to have a baby, why did you get married?
A lot of reasons, but the main reason is because my husband and I respect what the Bible says about dating and marriage. We didn’t get married because we wanted kids but we got married because we want to honor our God and our parents.
My husband and I know why we still don’t want to have a baby yet but on the other side of the coin, I feel bad for those couple who have been trying to have a baby but can’t seem to and gets asked that question again and again. Maybe people can start to think of it this way, “There must be a reason why they don’t have a baby yet. And it’s not entirely my business to know why”.